Something I've Learned

With all the trials that I have faced the past two weeks, I have learned something. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but He also has the power to give again! See, I had the first part figured out, but I guess that last part of that sentence never dawned on me. So, even though the experience of my miscarriage was devastating, I have a hope that perhaps, one day, the Lord will see fit to give again. What an amazing promise!

I have heard so many testimonies during this time from other woman who have experienced miscarriage. Miscarriage is actually a very common occurrence, happening in about 1 out of every 5 pregnancies. However, just like life in general, we all have a different story to tell. Some women miscarry on their own, perhaps not even knowing they were pregnant until they start to miscarry. Some at 6 weeks, some sooner, some later.

In my particular case, I had what is called a "missed miscarriage or missed abortion". A missed miscarriage is when it is determined that your fetus is no longer viable but your body has made no attempt at expelling the fetus (when I had my ultrasound, it was determined that the fetus had been dead for about a week).

I have absolutely no regrets at choosing to go forward with the D&C. That one night that I had to spend at home knowing that the baby inside of me was no longer alive was extremely excruciating. But, because of my faith in Jesus Christ, He ministered to me during that difficult time (and still is/does) and I made it out on the other side. I cannot imagine facing such a trial without having Him on my team!

I have been studying the book of James this summer with a group of wonderful ladies. The first part of James talks about walking through trials and how we should consider ourself blessed to have walked through them. I just couldn't imagine how I could consider myself blessed to have gone through such an experience. I continued to search my heart and ask the Lord to please reveal to me this "blessing" because I just wasn't seeing it. But, the Lord is faithful to reveal to you that which you seek to know! I am truly blessed, beyond all measure to be His daughter and know that my life has been sifted through His hands. I am sure that my experience will be put to good use one day, perhaps it already is and I don't even know it yet.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010, will forever be a day stamped in my memory because my life was changed forever. In the parking lot, Lance prayed that we would be like Job and reach the place that we could say, "It is well with my soul". I think I have arrived at that place.

To our family and our adopted family (aka friends), thank you so much for your outpouring of love and support during this time. You guys were so faithful to stand with us during this trial!

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name